things just can´t go as planned

Once again I have been slapped on the face by the mean hand of Lady Destiny embodied in my boss, or better said, in my company or “the man”.

As I said in older post I was finally given the schengen visa in order to visit Germany and fulfill my heavily planned vacations. When people asked “So the trip is a sure thing?” my answer was always the same “Sure as it can be, this vacations is as certain as death is the end of all our paths” and I felt it was that way, I really though there was no turning back, the visa was the inflection point where my desires transformed into reality and there was no way in hell I was going to miss such vacation…again, so I though.

My company is in the process of changing ERP (main software) and my boss decided to name me “migration team leader”. This meant that I was suppose to be during the whole process that began in April and the schedule showed that we would be finished with everything in September, but thanks to dumb decisions (made by the higher ups of course) things go tangled up and we are still in the process. I announced my vacation in May when schedule was still solid and now things are delayed and so I was summoned to the vice president office with my boss and her boss. They told me “Sorry budd, but you vacations must be reschedule. According to the new schedule you vacations will be in the middle of the migration and we need you here”

I declare myself a craven, or a smart man who acts rationally? Depends on what light you shine on that. My first reaction in my mind was to tell all of them “fuck you and your project, don´t come screwing up my shit due to your incompetence!” but I took a deep breath and said “So what are you saying, that my vacations are cancelled meaning I am about to lose a heap lot of cash in the process?” And they were smart enough to say “Yes and no. We don´t mean for you to lose money or cancel your vacations, just reschedule and we as the company, will see that all extra costs are paid in full by us”. Ok cool enough, but still I shall not visit Europe in the fall but in damn winter! How is that a win situation for me? It’s rather shit if you ask me! So yeah, take one for the team?…I started rationalizing the possible outcomes of the next thing I would declare having in mind what my old man used to say “You never play with your food” and as bad as I hate to accept it, this company pays me and that way I can eat. It is clear that I have the hot pot by the handle and I have a bargain position and I could remind them how bad they need me and put pressure on my own agenda, the problem is that I also know the modus operandi of the company, they will surely fold either in granting my vacations as planned or rising my salary but they will hold the grudge and as soon as the project is over they will show me the pink slip…and again I will not play with the hand that feeds me, specially that I am with a lot of debts thanks to the vacations itself. So yeah, take one for the team it is.

As always, I have given the information of the restrictions of the change of itinerary: Due to visas and the airline instruction they told me that I had to be coming back the 8th of December as the latest possible date…so now the ball is in my comapny´s court.

This is a good definition for frustration! Let me tell you about the feeling in my gut when I phoned my GF to give her the dire news and she began to cry to what I though “What a drama queen, is not that bad!” but when she told me why she broke down between sobs my heart sunk pretty badly. She had a debt that was pending to be scored legally of a nice sum, more or less USD$10K that was her saving for her, well our, future. It was going to be a down-payment for her schooling or maybe our house. We both had high hopes for that money and both of us were “counting crows in the air” while the decision came through. Well it did, but she kept quiet and was fending it all by herself. Basically the judge decision was “Sorry, no money for you, tough luck”. She though I was having a hard time at work and was saving that news for when things were brighter. So you can imagine how she felt when I told her that the vacations, that small thing that was holding her together giving her hope that things might be crap around her but there was a bright spot in the near future making her smile was now torn to pieces…I felt how my heart shrunk into a little knot, comforted her and told her everything was going to be alright, that I we would find a way to get that money or just save up more, that is was not that critical, but in the end the truth was, the whole things was just a shitty mess.

So, last week I ended up following the advice I gave Kath a while back…the drunken bliss. Sad thing is that it didn´t helped me as much as I would have wanted. I have to keep up the good work, smile for my girlfriend to show her comfort and strength and the promise that everything will be alright when in the end I ask myself…will it?


5 Responses to “things just can´t go as planned”

  1. September 12, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Life is tough and definitely not fair. We say that to ourselves but the pain of being stung by life never seems to hurt any less. Sorry you ran into a tough patch recently. I hope things turn around…even a little.

  2. September 20, 2011 at 7:11 am

    Germany has cool Christmas markets in November and December and the cold is definitely a good excuse for a few Gluweins, so maybe you can still enjoy the holiday. I’m sorry things aren’t going to plan, I hope they get better and you have a great holiday.

    • 4 creepo
      September 23, 2011 at 12:23 pm

      Hey Sarah! Thanks for dropping by…Well I am trying to see the positive side of it all and so I am trying for my GF to see it as well. Its hard at first, like “Hey you are going to see snow for the first time, thats nice!” and she answers “I don´t really care for snow, it looks pretty on TV and thats where I like it, far and far away”…been insisting and now she is kind of psyched up. Crossing fingers to have a great vacation 🙂

  3. January 16, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    thanks 8 16 PM Adam Montana Yeah i think I covered that in my last answer, maybe I should keep my answers shorter 8 16 PM Adam Montana Know b.

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