A deep sleep

I have lived in this earth for 28 years and in a near future 29. All these years I have interacted with so many people is hard to keep track, have read, learned, seen and heard so many stories, news and gossip that has made of me the man who I am now. I have loved, hated and felt so many different feelings such as remorse and fear. Now I imagine what would be of me if 23 of my 28 years of life would be taken from me and the just mere though leaves a big black space in my soul, creeps me out imagining how would be my life if from now on I would fall into a slumber and wake up as a 51-year-old man but with the same thoughts I have now.

This is more or less the story of Rom Houben, a Belgian that after a car crash accident in his youth back in 1983 (the year when I was not only 3-year-old toddler but also the year when Michael Jackson comes knocking hard with Thriller) was misdiagnosed as being in a vegetative state, meaning that most of his brain functions has ceased to function and therefore he can’t hear, see, talk, feel or taste. He is limited to pumping his heart and just keeping his body functioning through machines but his humanity has been nearly erased as a whole. Rom woke up 23 years later (I guess shocked that the pop star who was king back in the day of the crash is now dead) and informing everybody that because he was not in a vegetative state he could listen and sometimes see things that were happening around him.

This story brings back another memory that really freaks me out and I guess might be the only real things that I could be scared shitless of, and that is the state in how the soldier described in the song One from Metallica ends up. A man who thanks to land mines lost his arms, legs, speech, sight, hearing, touch (maybe?) and is kept alive, because that is the rule, to fight for someones life until the very end (Even if that means making him/her live in a state that is hardly “alive”). The song described this man as trapped, time and space is now nothing, just a memory that fades away; a state where his memories and himself are the only companion he will ever have, alone and practically non existent (And I assume, bored to near death!) and pleads to be killed with Morse code moving his head, pleads again and again, not knowing if he is being understood or even watched, to be killed once and for all and rest from such hell that makes the 9 circles of hell from Dante a joy ride for perky little girls. I really think that if I ever end up in such a state, it would be the worst torture and hell I could endure, pinch my ass with a fork, burn my flesh again and again but at least I will feel!

Still having goosebumps I can say that Rom was finally awake from the nightmare and now he describes how awful was to hear everything but just stay there and do nothing about it, he said “It felt like I was in a prison where the key was thrown away and was no way to escape”. There is only one thing close to this nightmare, and that is a very long kidnapping, like some of the police and army members that are forcefully being captive by FARC, a guerrilla faction in Colombia. For instance there is a corporal called Pablo Emilio Moncayo who has been kidnapped for eleven and a half years under the most horrifying and denigrating ways possible for a human being.

I really hope that Moncayo and all the other kidnapped victims by guerrilla factions find freedom like Rom Houben did! Freedom for all!!


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November 2009
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